Cake has like 10 albums...I need them all I'm convinced.

I need some sort of passion specified in my life--I've always dabbled. It used to be sports, then my knees caved in on themselves in some sense, it used to be music, but I try to stay a realist--I'm probably not going to have time to be a folk singer, it used to be friends, but I'm so busy, it used to be hiking, or biking, or running. The thing that is saddest that I've let go by is my passion for writing, reading, and poetry. It was always the thing that made sense, where I was lost in numbers I was found in words. I still have a portfolio of creative writing and work, but I want it to be of use. I am praying/hoping that Belize will offer an opportunity for my creative side, my quiet peacefulness to re-emerge, after all I am going there to help write a book.

I just need to focus right now. The amount of headlines, hw and work I do is sometimes over-whelming I just need focus, a love, a passion. Something that I 100% don't question. I question God, I question my want to learn, I question most things. I'm searching for the thing that stands its grounds against all possible speculations.

I want to know what it feels like to live in the warmth, to have something matter, to be something to someone, to live free of society. I'm sorry if I'm starting to sound like Alex Supertramp from the book Into the Wild, but good God am I drifting away. But if I had the choice and $25,000 in savings to throw away to a charity I certainly wouldn't take off to Alaska.

Drifter, thinker, philosopher, is something that I could describe myself as right now.