Spicy, Comfortable, Weird.

Those are all the Apples to Apples Cards I got last night, when playing at the hookah bar, and those are the ones that are supposed to describe me. I'll take spicy Ay carribe. Anyhow things are going pretty swell(who says that anymore?!). I'm going through a mid-morning obsession with the song by one of my all time favorites Otis Redding with Sitting on the Dock of the Bay except there is no bay in the middle of Massachusetts. Its more like sitting in my garage that makes my voice sound better like a studio on a rainy day.
I'm in a really like funny mood today, like I want to laugh, and I want to make people laugh. I say like alot and it makes me sound stupid...but we all know Im a scholar. AND THAT JUST REMINDED ME I FORGOT TO LISTEN TO...the song "Twenty Something" by Jamie Cullum on my 20th bday. O well. I guess I still have 9 more years to do that.
Things are good. My friend India and I last night at the Hookah bar had all sorts of discussions, but we mutually decided that 1. everyone is crazy and 2. I am plugging our reality television show of two central ma girls trying to make it in Brooklyn or the city, because next summer I plan on 1. playing my guitar in Manhattan for a living, while 2. interning for SNL or Brian Williams while 3. trying to work to afford an apartment and 4. shooting a reality tv series. You know you want to watch it. We are practically nuts but thats okay.
Okay I need fruit or something.


"If I'm not back in five minutes just wait longer."--Ace Ventura.

"I wonder if they Study Philosophy....I wonder"

First of all can I just say I never knew how fulfilled you could feel, just how simply wonderful friends saying that they love you and miss you and wish you a happy birthday can feel--no bday card with money can do this. Nothing. My best friends yelling CHACHHH on texts or on voicemails to me makes me know that at age twenty I have some of the best people in my life right now that I will ever have.

So as some of you may have known, today is my birthday,with 15 mins left to soak it all in. I had planned for a while to celebrate it as ostentatious as I did. Well just kidding, I opted for a whale watch out of Gloucester with two very great friends, one who I have known for eight years, and another I met last fall. Yes only I would choose to go on a whalewatch for my birthday, and only I would know everything the naturalist was about to say, but thats okay, I'm glad I know that whales don't breach for any particular reason. I also after today am not giving up on opening a coffee shop named, "The Breaching Whale". Brought to my attention today was the realization of just how lucky I am to have these wondeful people in my life. I saw my family for a total of five minutes today, but I guess that is part of growing up, but for the record I do love them. Last night I was a bit weary of the day to follow. As I was driving home from Price Chopper at 12 a.m. tears started rolling down my eyes, I'm not quite sure why. All the things I had wanted to accomplish by 20, the ways I had viewed myself years back as a 20-year-old. I'm not as posh as I thought I'd be. I'm a guitar playing hippie who drinks more coffee than eats salads, and someone who says anyhow more than websters dictionary allows for. But anyhow thats not the point. Despite all of these previous notions I had of the Chelsea Whitton to come, today I was able to sit on the whale watch and just let it out, just sit there in complete isolation on the ocean with these gorgeous creatures, and just live simply and in the moment. Its the simple things in life, such as going out 30 miles off shore that allow me to think clearly.
The whalewatch was quite amazing. The baby calfs are young and naiive so they tend to stay close to the boat--curious as to what is on it, so they spy hop( look up and you can see there eyes looking at you) or just roll around near the boat. One got so close I'm pretty sure we accidentally bumped it...oops. But the weather was amazing, and the beauty of these animals is just incredible, seeing a 100 ton animal completely lift itself into mid air, just because it feels like it, is pretty impressive. I thoguht to myself, something like, "God you did a good job with these guys." I don't want to get all religious on you all.

I also had some real intellectual conversations with Mary today...just kidding. Today on the boat traveling to the reservation, I said, "I just for one day want to be a humpback whale. They don't have to worry about college or money, or maybe they do, maybe they study philosophy. I really don't know."
Mary replies in a very inquisitive voice, "Ya, I wonder."...laughter breaks out.

Naturalist says,
"Look at anchor, you can see her shoulder blades. Its a skinny whale."
I say,
"Isn't that an oxymoron?"

I was also thinking today, I always have some sort of dilemma on birthdays, I know its my own fault, I mean I could make them perfectly happy if I wanted to. Flashback--I'll never forget my... I think it was 11th birthday. I so badly wanted this hand-made beautiful quilt for my new room. I was very much into like re-decorating at this point...some of you may remember the epic "Trading Spaces" phase. By the end of July that year I was surely out of my horse obsession, I still liked to ride, but I was over the whole horse lover image haha (yes I'm laughing at myself too). What do you know, that summer, on my birthday camping in Jamacia, Vermont we were celebrating on an over cast day, and out pops my mother from the camping trailer with a hard tissue paper covered wooden plaque sort of thing. I unwrapped it to only throw it on the table and go crying to the woods seconds later. It was a horse head plaque, ornate, but weird. It must still be in the attic somewhere, because we couldn't return the shiteous carpentry. Oh birthdays, always dramatic, but at least I can look back and laugh. But today was different, monumental,and part of this whole life transition I am currently going through. Rockport, MA is a gem, and I'm so happy today was just another reminder of how good life can be. So I guess I can say happy 20th to me :)
Love,
Chach

"If you want to have cities, you've got to build roads."

They say money can't make you happy. Okay, but it can get you by, so that you can afford socks and shit like that.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH is simply all that I can write. Because my laptop won't start, I'm sick of being boho chic, because I can't afford to look like a normal person, and I have to deal with loans and such for school, and the bill is due August 12. Fun times, and I have yet to receive my Price Chopper Scholarship. I want to go to school with a new pair of jeans and to buy some books. I don't know if I'm going to be able to make that happen.
So overwhelmed. My birthday is tomorrow. Hopefully it goes smoother than today. Ive got to go for a run or something.

"Put that in Your Pipe and Smoke it"

So today was a good day because it made me realize, for all the hours or work, or for all the clothes you buy nothing makes you feel more accomplished than sitting back and enjoying quality time with family. I have three great-grandparents that are living, and today I had the chance to spend time with two of them. They are lovely, and so adorable. Molly and I (the comedians of the group) laughed for atleast ten minutes today, when my four year old cousin walked up to Great Grandpa McInerny shook his hand and said, "You Look Old." Of course grandpa didn't hear it. We all celebrated my Nana's 66. Times like these just let me leave all apprehensions at the door, because inside the small house is a group of beautiful people who take you exactly as you are. It just makes me feel so loved. Who wouldn't like that? When my nana said, "Gangsta" with the Auburn accent today I pretty much lost it. I wrote this exerpt below about my gradnparentsand I just want to share it because they are such are beautiful part of my life.


There's Smokey

Bring back the days
Of knees scraped by rocks
That we laughed at for hours

Of Harmonicas and bazookas
Carried in the dark night’s silence
Brushing by black bears path’s
With elders scared as we

Bring back the nights
Of voices carried by fire
That fueled in our content
As the thunder crossed
The rolling mountains

Bring back the memories
Of young small legs
Peddling on old rail road trails
That went no where
And brought us no where
Except for alongside a river

Show us how we used to be
Smiles un-empty
Arms on shoulders
Consumed by tales
And unstoppable laughter

Till Dad slips out of his chair
Bring back the moments
We joined
As the box painted turtle
Took his time

Bring back those moments
Of life gone by
To laugh once more
To hear the sweet harmonica
Call our names
In the middle of the mountains

I'm just at a very relective point of my life right now. Its kindof strange. But days like today reassure me that I am quite happy with everything. My 90 something year old great grandfather said to, "Put that in your Pipe and smoke it." Damn straight.

Quick you, me, staring contest now. You win you always do.

Okay so I woke up with this excruciating pain in my right calf--either I'm thirsty, need potassium, or am extremely stressed out. The later seems true. But in any case today I don't work until 5:30 so inbetween now and then I have tons to do(my sister said that about 80%) of everything I own is on the floor and its true) so cleaning it is, but I want to do something nice for myself like by an exercise outfit, or get my nails done. Oh induldgence. I figure I can buy little stuff, because I can't afford things I need.
Today my laptop announced to me that it didn't want to start so that was nice. I want to go back to school so desperately.
In related stories I'm already planning next summer because I have no strings attatched and can pretty much do what I want--I could jump on a plane and go anywhere if I wanted. But next summer I hope to intern for this list of shows--SNL, Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, Dateline, or the Today Show. These are long shots, and I'll probably be sleeping in a cardboard box somewhere, but it'll be worth it.
My birthday is in 4 days! Well I'm not really as excited as this exclamation point says I am, but I'm celebrating it with two great friends up in Rockport. It better be nice out.
Right now Im working on writing my letter to intern for SNL. That would be the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. ~Goulet!!!!!! Its the coconut bangers ball. Its a wrap.
Oh and remember that story I wrote that was kindof a mess, well I fixed it and its running Auburn front page in 2 weeks:)

The Devil is in the Details

Omy. I keep having these strange strange dreams. Last night I had a very vivid dream that started with me getting a package. But the only problem was this package was in my old middle school locker, which I had to remember which one out of the hundreds it was. When I finally bumped into a friend, who is my age who was also retrieving a package from the locker, I was able to unlock the blue musty locker, my with my old history teacher looking over at what I was doing. Inside was a carton of chocolate ice cream and a check from Loretta Kane--my great grandmother for $1600. My main concern was how did the ice cream not melt and how did it fit in the orange flat envelope--I mean it was a half gallon of ice cream! Come-on now. I was also mildly concerned with the fact that if I cashed the six year old check (if I was in middle school it would be like seven or eight years old but whatever) that my great grandmother's checking account would be mildly off. I also ate a serving of cold ice cream with out realizing it had some sort of micro-bacteria inhabiting it layered in strange sheets( it being six year old miraculously preserved central market ice-cream). After that I'm not quite sure what happened but I woke up wishing the $1600 check did exist, and thinking my mind certainly does do a good job at remebering details--not in real life. haha.
On other actual news, I might be getting a second job, so that I will infact not have a life.
I attempted to have a story published for this Thursday except it was on cars and the dumbass that I am didn't even get the car make of the people I interviewed so now I am waiting for them to call me back, and my article had like 1,000 AP style mistakes. Great. (Update: he called me back, its a 55' Chevy not a 55' Ford,imagine if I had that printed...oh gad.)
My Birthday is in 6 days, and I intend on celebrating it, and quickly forgetting it (if you know what I'm talking about :)

I had a dream that I knocked a composers stick out of his hand while conducting a famous concert!! haha

I was more independent than any farmer in Concord, for I was not anchored to a house or farm, but could follow the bent of my genius, which is a very crooked one, every moment.

The quote is long yes, but you all know how I think Henry David Thoreau is a literary genius. And I liked this quote, because in all his seriousness, there was somebody light-hearted.

So my friends and I finally decided that we would go to Block Island Aug 27!? It only took us two hours and a campfire to decide, but it will be well worth it. We're going to rent mopeds and chill around the island all day. Can't wait!

Anyhow, today is rainy and so I had planned on waking up at 9, but I looked outside and decided that sleeping until 1:20 would be a good idea. And it was. Despite the heavy rain, and working later, I seem to be in a happy place.
Have a nice rainy day.
lOVE Chach

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. --Mark Twain

Today I have the day off, so I will take time to write things, that have been stuck in my head for a long long time.

I do not want a shiny car, granite counter tops, designer labels, I do not need these to be content, because at the end of it all, we are people with two legs, two arms, eyes and ears, who occasionally smile;)
I was picturing it-around the end of my life when my red hair has turned to some awful color, and my freckles fade into one blob-kidding, and no matter how many lotions and potions I'll use my face will still have wrinkles, but I still have the same feelings, same memories, maybe a house, maybe a husband, maybe a horse. Are people going to remember me for the car I owned or the clothes I wore or for what I did? And say if heaven really is up there, is God going to say well you owned a Mercedes so your in baby. Haha. That would be funny. Jokes on me.
I noticed plentiful amounts of Mercedes and BMW's while driving and other triangles and circles on cars that point out some sort of status, but really what is the point of it all. I know I'm not normal because of these ways of thinking, but I don't mind. I'm finding out who I am, and how I want to spend my life, because I'm sick of sitting around waiting to feel content in the things I have. But I have found that once again things will never make me happy. I also realize that in this point of my life, my once existing relationship with God has crumbled to an abrupt halt. Its not like I'm doing crack or anything, but there's something in my life that feels empty where before it didn't. Its sad, and I say I'm working on it, but I know I can do much more. But I refuse to go to church with my family, because it is a hypocrisy, and I don't support conservatism, where we sit in a world that is much more than old white people.

Last night I was doing some reflecting on my summer, why I feel the way I do, and what led me to feel the way I feel. I'm not quite sure, but I don't like the way I feel this summer usually, but I think its a sort "soul search" a way of saying "wait there is much more to come". I'm turning twenty and I guess this is me being uncomfortable sitting in one place for too long, or getting too comfortable with myself...which some argue is a good thing...but I'm not taking sides :). I do believe that I am soul searching, its all very self revolving, but I guess before I go out to save and write about the world, I have to first understand myself and what I want and what I need to work on. There is two things that came out of the summer that I know I need to change, I need to be happy just because I'm breathing, running, and living. The fact that I can go to my sink and press down the filtered water button amazes me. I think luxury is Christian Louboutin shoes that I'll never where, but for most luxury is having the ability to sit back, smile, breathe, and take a drink of clean water. Another thing I think about way to much is "why me", not why me in the sense that things went terribly wrong, but in the sense that why wasn't I plopped in a poverty stricken city somewhere destitute like San Jose, or in Indonesia. Instead I was plopped in a country on a map that colors my country as yellow...for prosperity, and and the continent below us is colored red for poverty. I just can't understand these sort of things. I don't know why I think about these things, I just do. I'm trying to understand these thoughts and have taken the decision hat its Gods way of creeping back into my life, and inspiring me in ways my materialism couldn't, and cannot.

A La Playa con los animales que no me gusta (Seagulls)

Amigos,
I am going to the beach! Finally. I mean I went to Newport for three days last month, and my beach day consisted of haze (which happened to be appropriate for my skin), but today is gorgeous and I will be going to Scarborough (hopefully I dont see Mr. Riordan as always (my sixth grade teacher) hahahaa awk. Its going to be gorg and Im brining my yellow notebook (as always) a good book and a good friend. Then its off to work.
Leave some lovin fellow readers.

Little Boxes on the Hillside

Well I do live a little box on the hillside. But I don't live a life of harboring and killing drug lords. tempting? not really
But I am obsessed with the show Weeds, and have been since my sister got me into it years back. I wish that I was Nancy Botwin, but in reality I know I'm Celia Hodes--what a bitch haaha. But yes the new episodes are amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

Rowing on the Lakes of Canada

Ok so I slept from 1 a.m. to 10 a.m. and yet how did I manage to be more stressed out in my sleep than in real life. My dream contained vivid family dramas, they wouldnt happen, and stops to a Tazo store in Auburn (which doesn't exist). The people that the dreams entailed have no place in my life and I found it funny for them to exist in my subconscious. Some dreams you know like why things appeared, because you thought about them during the day, but wow I must have had Tazo tea on mmy mind, in order for a whole fricken store of all its products to show up in Auburn in my dream. haha.
But anyhow, today is rainy so far, and I need a cup of coffee desperately.
As for news I have decided to not study abroad next year, I feel as if I haven't experienced UMass enough quite yet to just go off, and I also want to graduate on time, I have lots of things to do for my two minors.I also have the responsibility of writing and copy ediitng for the Collegian. So as a result Im saving some money to roam around Europe on winter break possibly. I also feel so lonely, because all I do is work and run and its just so monotonous, where as at school I can do whatever the hell I feel like doing, at any moment. Off to buy Berries and Veggies.

Stephen Douglas was a great Debator, but Abraham Lincoln was the Great Emancipator

I was driving with Molly last night and on the cd I made for her came the song "Casimir Pulaski Day" by Sufjan Stevens. Okay so anyone who knows me knows I had a like three year obsession with this guys music, he is the one who got me into writing and creative writing and all sorts of things. I hadn't listened to his music for a while, and it was refreshing to hear it. But as for my fellow friend Devendra Banhart--yes still love him hahaha. Both these guys need new cd's though.

I can't even think of a fun title

So I just came back from a great evening with mollz, and it was fabulous except one thing--Bruno.
We had a wondeful time of subwoofing in the beatle and chatting at Red Robin. Bruno was a torturous waste of time. Don't see it. I was completely wrong about the movie, and frankly can't believe the American Media can portray such a horrible movie in the public eye. Repulsed. Should have gotten negative stars.

But tomorow entails waking up. Babysitting and work.

The Gala Apple Crunch

Last night I made the best mashed potatoes, they weren't exactly the healthiest things in the world, but the Irish lived off of them right?
I peeled three small regular potatoes and boiled them for like 15 minutes. With a beater thing( not linguistically domestically skilled) added milk pepper, salt, and butter, until they looked perfect. That was dinner along with a small ceaser salad, and carrots.
In other events...
Have you ever had those days where your brain kind of finds that wide-eyed happy place and you really have no clue what is going on other than the blank piece of paper your staring at? Thoughts just don't exist in that very moment, so there is no thoughts that will bring you back to reality. That happened to me this morning at my job. I'm sitting there staring at a blank page and figuring out how to fold a piece of paper to go into an envelope. Not exactly brain science but somehow I managed to be incapable of photocopying an article and then putting it in an envelope. I mean we all know I'm a little spacey but seriously. Guess I've got to amp it up from 1 cup of coffee to 2. That wont be pretty.
On another note, why can't I stop saying, "Dolce and Gabanna Hello"? I haven't even seen the movie yet. I feel like this movie will be a monumental place in my vocabulary, such as Anchorman was. For a while there (approx 3 years) all I said was "ayooo gang", and "its the pleats." If you know what I'm talking about ;0

Crooked Breaking Trampolines, Butt Slides into the Atlantic

Why is it that I wear my orange dress everyday? I don't know.
If you feel like having a good laugh, and you know me and can picture this read on...
Today I was playing my guitar outside by our miniature pond. The goldfish seemed intrigued and surfaced (probably because my orange dress matched their ornate scales and as a matter of fact my hair), and a little chipmunk made an appearance and quickly scurried away, but the thing that made me laugh even at my self was the hawk sitting in a tree about fifty feet up on the golf course tree. At the moment I started playing, the hawk started doing well you know, the sound that furious hawks do. We deemed her a girl hawk, because shes kind of bitchy, and apparently is more into Led Zeppelin, than The Beatles. I quickly retreated back into my habitat, while she stayed in hers, doing what hawks do.

In news and related stories, I didn't actually realize that people were reading this, until Meg Matthews(haha) decided to let me know. Of course I'm publishing thoughts and stories online, but never really braced myself for the fact that people would read them.
My story on Miss Massachusetts is being published for tomorrow's Flash so that is exciting.
Today was extremely slow at the internship so I sat there and read news stories all day. The best one was by far a 10 page feature on whales. (I'm obsessed with whales to begin with, so when articles run I jump for joy, or breach...no pun intended.)
But in all seriousness this story was amazing, the journalist explained how there was a group of divers trying to untangle a humpback in the pacific, and after the humpback was set free it swam circles around the divers in an effort, and then nudged each one of them (in what scientists think is a sincere effort to thank the rescuers).
Here it is if you have time to krill...haha get it? I know you all love my jokes.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/12/magazine/12whales-t.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=Whales&st=cse

Somethings Feels Right

Okay So I'm so happy today is gorgeous, but I wish I woke up a bit earlier. So I'm starting my day off with an amazing cup of coffee, and some serious guitar playing, just kidding, but I do love to just pick up the guitar. Then its a bike ride around town and off to the track. Days where I can smile just because are days that should happen more often.
Go watch a bird take flight :)

Black or White? Today I saw Grey, and it was Pretty

So I'm not quite sure why I started blogging. "They" (i really don't know who they is) always say that writing is the best thing for people in transition or times of turbulence and change. Well my whole life has been quite turbulent, but today was actually a sort of turning point, a three-sixty if you'll believe it.
Today started out with my morning smoothie...today with banana--how adventurous right..right?
Then I went to go speak with someone, but it wasnt much help at all, but rather reassured me that I'm on the right path of getting out of the hell hole that is Auburn. I'm not conservative, I see the need for change, and therefore will be a nomad my entire life...I'm sure of it. I explained that I overhtink things to a point where its just not fun, and that some days are harder than others. In doing so I realized thats life, thats what it is meant to be like.
After step 1 of my day 1 transition it was off to...
Lunch with a friend on the porch which consisted of wheat thins and red roasted pepper hummus, with a glass of pasion fruit Tea. Good Good. It was so beautiful out and relaxing I could just breathe. My friend told me about a series called the "Secret" on youtube and I couldnt recommend it enough. It is about the law of attraction and how 100% true it can be. I gave it a social test today...if you are aware of yourself, and yourfeelings, the natural world will allow people to respond in exactly that manner. Its sounds like some shit Einstein made up, but I kid you not this shiz works. Its so simple, the vibes you give off can really like true and tangible...so this is definitly something I'm more aware of now.
Today was a breathe of fresh air, that was much needed, because for a while I felt like I wasn't breathing.

enjoy tomorrow:0
chach

Carrots match my hair

Okay so today was as excruciating as I thought it would be, except for the chicken salad and carrots I had when I came home.
My Sandwhich was
2 slices of Oat Nut Bread (broiled on 350 with the cheese for 3 minutes)
2 tablespoons of chicken salad
4-5 crushed almonds
1 slice of cheese
lots of greens
A slice of tomato
And voila there is a tasty easy sandwhich

Desert will be a half cup of blended fruit(blueberries and stawberries) and sherbert. Summertime is a good excuse for plentiful amounts of fruit. Oh yes and a cup of iced Passion Fruit Tazo Tea. (which I need to buy more of)
Note: The side was an enticing collection of baby carrots. For health concerns I ate them plain...usually ranch just covers them in unwanted amounts of fat and such.

I've decided that I want to learn how to make delicious food, and keep healhty so everyday I will post my delicious every meal, and tips for good good food.


Work blew, but I have other things to worry about. Right.....RIGHT!?
In other news and related stories I turn twenty soon, I had a dream that I made out with Harry Potter (so not my type), and have been playing Brandi Carlile songs non-stop. Ocasionally I will attempt to pick up my room, and/or exercise. I was useful for that yesterday.
As for news I still have to type up a story for my internship and get my shiz organized, because I'm all over the friggen place right now. As for fun, that doesnt exist,but my friends and I are thinking of going to Rockport, and Waterfire in Providence for fun. And I need to see Bruno.
I'm off to try to be productive, and or write more.

Smoothies and Sun

So because I woke up at 12 today and missed my morning run and galavanting around town on my bike I thought I'd make a smoothie before work. Turns out today I put too much orange juice in it, usually a little for kick is good, but here it is.
This is how I stay healthy and feel good.
1 handful of blueberries
3 Chunks(what a nice word) of pinneapples
5 Strawberries
1/2 Banana
Rasberries if desired (some people don't like the texture)
Half cup of soy milk
4 Cubes of Ice

Smoothies can bring out the creative side because it allows for imagination. If you wanted to put sherbert in it, or yogurt instead of orange juice and soy thats fine too. Enjoy both your smoothie and the sun.

Bread, Eggs, and Cans that Squash it All

"Hello do you have your card?"
Old men that can't hear. People who killed a tree to save money with coupons. People who throw money at you because they can't let go of it. People who reach into God knows where to retrieve their money and cell phones. People who ask for double paper or paper in plastic, or to bag gallons of milk, or to price check something over a .20 cent difference. These are all events that my job entails. Ghetto-fab should be in the subtitle in the supermarket I work for. I stand in the supermarket relentlessly beeping things past a scanner for an average of five hours a day.
Fullfilling, doesn't even describe the opposite of what this is. In the time that I stand on my feet, observing all walks of human life I sing songs in my head, I think of new things to write, new things to read, and just how damn lucky I am, first to have a job, and second, to be me. At least I'm not buying oreos and cigarettes and wearing overalls right? If that is what I have to make myself feel a bit better, so be it. Who knows those people smoking cigarettes and eating junk food that the government pays for might know something I don't. But I'm not to sure I want to listen to what they have to say, because that would involve actually caring. Which I can't anymore for reasons to be explained. Can you get fired for telling a customer to fuck off if your off duty? Think about it and get back to me.

First Day

I'm in a sort of strange place right now. Everyday is a blur that stays blurry. Its quite annoying. Its like having vaseline in your eye--a creative slump that is slow and indeterminable.