Whats a Christmas gram? I want one!

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope everyone enjoyed it and sort of remembered whats its all about--the gifts. Haha kidding, but I hope you atleast know why it is celebrated. I am definitely thanking God for how fortunate I am, that I can enjoy Christmas and hang out for a day. Though this whole being around the family thing can be very stressful. I sort of keep thinking to myself what would happen if I just left for a bit. Left school, left everyone and everything to go find myself or how I'm supposed to spend this life. Sort of like in that book "Eat, Pray, Love" granted the women was a totally self-indulgent and pittying. I sort of in a way understand Elizabeth Gilbert's want to leave her mundane life, her unhappiness behind and go find something inspiring. I would be lying if I said I was completely happy. Though Christmas is good, and things are great, they don't make me happy. My point being maybe leaving everything that doesn't make me happy behind will allow for only good things to come into my life. I'm still broken and the family continues to break me, my money continues to break me, my own image of the world continues to break me. This year will be all about transforming my views, my beliefs to something that makes me happy. I thought that over the summer I got my life together and was good with family and God and all that. I was dead wrong, I'm still working on myself every day.

If I had planned out the whole Belize thing I would be leaving tomorrow, but in a way I'm saving money, and the reason I was going was to help write a book and you can't actually write a book in 8 days now can you?

I got money towards a camera, I think I'm going for Nikon but don't know what slr I'm getting yet. I got clothes all of which I am exchanging, a too-big sweater, pants too short for my legs, no one seems to realize that I barely have a torso I'm all legs, and a shirt that is baby pink...I DO NOT wear baby pink. ick. I wear black, green, and ocassionally blue.

Now as for those resolutions: That I will keep...
Finish a novel, one of the many I've been attempting to write for years
Or complete a book of my poetry
Get an internship in NYC with Natgeo, Fallon or the Nightly News, I'm aiming high
Keep who I am in perspective, but change some things
Change my cynicism to optimism
Just let loose and have a year filled with love, traveling, journalism related endeavors, and good friends.


Cheers.